I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
