Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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