just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
