she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
