my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
