IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize