Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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