I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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