3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
