in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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