2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
