Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
