what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
