His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
