I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
