rhymes with "ouble enetration"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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