What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
