Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
