your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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