C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
