Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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