what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
