hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
