You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
