I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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