He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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