I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
