I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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