His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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