i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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