i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
