im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Randomize
