I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
