I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
