i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You took a bar mat shot.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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