She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize