So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
