Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
