Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
