Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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