yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
