I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
