I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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