Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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