He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
