and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
