i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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