woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
