I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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