I want to walk on stilts...naked
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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