Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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