chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Bring me that man meat
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
