Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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