Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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