I'm so fucking centered right now
wanna go halves on a baby?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
