Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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