My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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