dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize