i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
