we have officially lost it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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