good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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