Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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