if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
